Eden Bloom

It has been good to post here daily. I’ve found my way to some new words and have been able to expose upon them. As I continue to process M & M, which is becoming extremely rich with meaning, I break from commentary  to observe the most immediate impact of removing social media from my daily existence.

First, the majority of time on my phone was spent on social media. With the apps deleted, my muscle memory still has me picking up my phone and looking for them. It is more noticeable when I’m first waking and when I am tired. I pick up my phone to see what’s happening and there’s nothing there.

While this blatant addictive behavior is embarrassing, the fact that I’m tuning into it more by going cold turkey is also a nod toward liberation and evolution. There is a potential that realizing how hooked you are can turn you off. I’m attempting to ride that one here. It does feel liberating to have moments that typically would be broadcast out to many remain private and personal, special and sacred.

Yesterday brought The Midwife and the Mortician and I’m exploring some thoughts on its meaning and my intention with the flow.

The Midwife and the Mortician

I am the sun,
you are the moon.

Together we’ve made a world
touching only in brief moments
across vast amounts of time.

You shape form, you wain, you wax,
I invoke the Solstice and Equinox.

Together we set the stage,
the lights, inform the scenes
in which our progeny play.

I am the death of the old way,
you are the birth of the new.

The midwife and mortician, together alone
uprooted everything to plant seeds,
not crosses, with these bones.

©Eden Bloom, Eschaton Life

I’m uncertain how to determine if death has been more present for me than others. The patriarch of my childhood family, my grandfather,  worked in a funeral home I frequented. I’ve written at length about both of my grandparents roles as psychopomps. This is an extension of that expression.

I was born on the winter solstice. The reference and energy here points toward order, wheel of the year. The solstice and equinox  establish the parameters of the playing field and denote the boundaries of my mental and physical geography/time/space.

There is that old SWANS song Goddamn the Sun that resonates here. Leather-clad, whiskey-drenched and sun cursing, the blazing sun as oppressive owner/all-father. While I resist attributing male/female energy to nature, here the sun is phallic and weaponized as both the seed and the sword.

Back up the tree tmrw.

I am the sun,
you are the moon.

Together we’ve made a world
touching only in brief moments
across vast amounts of time.

You shape form, you wain, you wax,
I invoke the Solstice and Equinox.

Together we set the stage,
the lights, inform the scenes
in which our progeny play.

I am the death of the old way,
you are the birth of the new.

The midwife and mortician, together alone
uprooted everything to plant seeds,
not crosses, with these bones.

©Eden Bloom, Eschaton Life

Moving back into everyday life.
Normalization, if that is what this is.
Re-indoctrination is more like it.

On the 3rd day it became a challenge to find my way to the page here. I write in my handwritten journal everyday, but that is for a different purpose than the words here. That writing counts immensely, but it does not count for this project.

As part of this project I’ve been meditating on gratitude. Specifically over the last day, I’ve been thinking about how a stance of gratitude can be used to gloss over issues and carry forward selfishly without concern for others. Thank you can be weirded as a machete to cut through any resistance.

There is a deeper gratitude, one that also exudes care and concern. It is a place I want to be able to go with more people, but its so beyond transactional, it seems a major shift. At least that’s how it is for me.

This post really captures that live journal feel I was going for here. LOL.

 

Today, I successfully removed Facebook, Instagram and Twitter from my phone. Deactivating and deleting my accounts. I’ll maintain the EL Facebook page for a while as that seems to be where I am connected to those I am most interested in sharing with.

It is interesting to be reduced to one channel for communication. As noted, this is part of my motion toward my immediate and intentional communications and relationship building.

Social media has created a false surrogate for community and based upon my history of personal loss I have to admit that I fell for it and into it. While many of my old friends are connected through these platforms I am looking forward to seeing how many of them I can connect with in real life.

There is an aspect of passive vs active attention at play in my decision as well. Social media “friendship” can be a very passive act, a like or a comment on an algorithm fronted post and we are connected.

I’m more interested in sharing with those of like mind who seek myself and others out based upon the work and themes rather than an AI generated audience who may or may not vibe.